Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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