Whoa Z and x make the same sound
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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