Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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