Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Randomize
