Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
