I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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