I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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