I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
