if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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