He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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