And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
