Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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