Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
