I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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