so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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