John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
