Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize