I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize