worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
