I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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