i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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