This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
