Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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