The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
this is an emotional support booty call
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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