how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
