You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
