oh god the rape fog is back!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
