mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
