did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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