Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You smell like stripper and shame
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
