We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
