kristin has been a bad kristin
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
