he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
