ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
