just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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