break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
