Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
