i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
