why im i the only drunk person in the library?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
