So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
