very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize