I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
