Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
