Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
