one two three fourrrrnication!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize