yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
