dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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