I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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