we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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