If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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