I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
