You're so nebulous sometimes
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
