walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
