I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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