she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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