I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
