I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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