And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he puts the penis in happiness.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
