first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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