she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
