Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
