Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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