i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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