I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
nutella sex= disaster
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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