It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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