The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
