six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so let's talk penis.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
