Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
