Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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