Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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