So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
