whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
