He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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