Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
