My hand turned me down
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize