Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
